I need scissors to open the scissors
Christmas morning. The doll is free, and I'm bleeding a little. — Dad, 2008
In 2008 somebody timed it. Getting a toy pirate ship out of its hard plastic shell took about 11 minutes. The same ship in Amazon's new plain cardboard box came out in 44 seconds. The stores kept the plastic anyway, because it slows down shoplifters. It slows down everybody else too. Merry Christmas.
For now: run the plastic edge through a manual can opener instead of using a knife.
The full file
Amazon started its plain-box program on November 3, 2008, with just 19 products from Fisher-Price, Mattel, Microsoft and Transcend. Jeff Bezos said covering the whole store would take many years.
The pirate ship was one of the 19. Its new box got rid of 36 inches of plastic-coated steel wire ties, plus the plastic shell and the inserts. Three feet of wire, to hold down a toy boat.
It isn't only your patience. The Consumer Product Safety Commission has estimated about 6,000 trips to the emergency room a year from opening packages, cuts more than anything. Consumer Reports even handed out Oyster Awards for the hardest ones to open. They earned them.
Relates to No. 03200.
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